Wednesday, March 28, 2012

League Assignment 7: Bay Makes Everything Better

This week for the League the question is:  When Michael Bay is done with the Ninja turtles Movie, what should franchise should he Blow up next?

If bay continues to pilfer through my book of childhood favorites the top of my list would be Masters of the Universe, but I feel that is to obvious (although he is taking the big names so that one does make sense.)  I think Bay should take a more subtle approach when he kills the next little part of my childhood.

This is kind of a stream of consciousness.

Bravestarr is the childhood gem that It think bay would "Make Better"  I loved that cartoon.  I have always been a fan of Space Westerns, and I think Bay could really manipulate good wholesome characters with this franchise.

The whole movie would start with a planet exploding.  Big explosions.  Bravestar would escape.

Bravestarr is a good lawman who is supposed to be native american but would probably be played by someone who is very Caucasian.  He would be all about upholding justice to the book.  He would be well built.  He would have the mystic sides, but would also have a dark side.  He has a problem with taking justice into his own hands, When he finds out that Tex Hex destroyed his planet he will be out for revenge, and the last scene will be like tombstone in space with laser guns blasting up buildings.  Bay would finally somehow justify Bravestarr Killing Tex hex in cold blood.       

The Mysticism of the original show would still be there, but it would be toned down and probably not show up until the end when Bravestarr finds himself!

The cast of characters will be ample fodder for Bay,  He can throw in the jagged edges he loves with thunder stick, and Really make some alien creatures with sandstorm etc.  He would probably make Tex Hex cybernetic (which will only make him blow up harder.)  

The Shaman, Bravestarr's native American spirit guide will of course encompass every stereotype you can imagine.  The Prairie People (all CGI) will be shallow caricatures of hicks and backwoods people.  Of course the characters will all be side lined for the action.

Vehicles will be big set pieces.  Of course, 30/30 Bravestarr's transforming robotic stead will be CGI but will be fun to look at.  He will be wisecracking and have a rotten attitude, but in the end he will risk his life for Bravestarr.  

Judge McBride will be the love interest.  A hot, young love interest for Bravestarr, but she will have to deal with his hotheadedness.   

The characters and story will just help guide us to the next blaster fight and special effect.  the blaster fights will be fantastic!  Everything will be fodder for blowing up.  and in that last scene the whole of New Texas will be Bay's playground.  Spaceships will crash, and people will be thrown into buildings.

In the end Bravestarr will rise victorious and will help rebuild New Texas.  The end of the movie will end with the hero glancing out over the city.  A monolog voiced over the image, letting us know that he will not rest unless New Texas is safe.  This serves two purposes 1) to let us know everything is safe, and 2) to let us know that there will be a sequel with even more explosions.

I went into writing this trying to think about how Bay would destroy this movie. . . but as I write this I kind of want to see this movie :)

Take a jaunt over to Cool & Collected to see what the league is all about.

Stay tuned here and you will see some other league members posts!  

Jboypacman at Revenge from the Comic Arc thought Bay should do a remake of Breakin!

Kevin at Team Hellions thought Bay should get into the Wrestling game!

Dex, at AEIOU and Sometimes Why thought bay should get into the BIG monster business


  1. Nice pick! I almost added this to my list. I've been watching this on DVD the past few weeks, it's a pretty fun show, and a lot more serious and mature than I expected

    1. Your right, I love the filmation cartoons, and as this is the last one they did you can really feel the growth with this one. It's done very well!

  2. I never got into this despite all the other Filmation stuff I liked. I've been trying for a year or so to make my way through Blackstar DVDs. I love it as a kid but now it's hard to watch. You really notice all the reuses and animation cycles...and urge to kill Trobbits.